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The Expendables 3: Movie Review with spoilers

By on August 27, 2014

Big muscles, 80’s action stars and guns…back again for the 3rd time! This time with so many characters they are so tiny on the poster you need to stand up super close to see whose gerze bayan partner who! Also SPOILERS!

Lets dial back a bit. The thing we liked about the Expendables 1 & 2 is it was the 80’s action stars that we are nostalgic about FINALLY coming together to make the action movie we deserved, they knew what they were and they didn’t try to be anything more. They loosely subscribed to this doctrine: Who needs a plan of action when you got guns, endless ammo, tv magic and muscles!

Now that we got that out the way, lets get into Expendables 3!

This movie suffered at the box office, not because it wasn’t a good movie, but because of the piracy scandal that surrounds it :(
However that being said, it was an entertaining movie. We all knew what we were signing up for when we walked into this movie.

yeah it had moments where it dragged a bit, it tried to have sentimental moments with supposedly touching dialogue from Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and some forgettable/expendable character who you can only remember by their physical attributes – I don’t know if you know this but, ahem – WE CAN’T HEAR A WORD YOU SAY STALLONE! …actually he knows, there is a scene with him and Christmas (Jason Statham) where they touch on this, it’s funny.

Expendables 3 self-aware, its awesome, they break out Wesley Snipes’ tax evading character from prison, because he really was behind bars for tax evasion IRL, we were like “oh snap, you went there!? ok…ok”. It even had some characters utter some trade mark ‘one-liners’ from their previous blockbusters, there’s a scene where Arnold Schwarzenegger was in a helicopter, and guess what…yup, he said it, a few times “Get to the Choppa”.

The over arching Cain and Able story was pretty cool, they should have fleshed that out a bit more, instead of trying to make us like the Post Twilight jock character(…HATE this guy), Fake blonde Michelle Rodriguez lite, the other guy and the other guy…we thinks there was another guy, not sure.

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The actions scenes were really cool, you could say they came straight out of Call of Duty…no seriously its like they took their directive from the Call of Duty games – From the abandoned war torn buildings to the non-stop supply of henchmen with RPGs and tanks to kill. Not to mention their inability to maim any of your team members..yeah its all there!

We all love bad guys, especially when they are expertly portrayed, …looking at you Loki, where was we, oh yes, awesome bad guys; Mel Gibson was an awesome bad guy, a classic villain with typically unnecessary but awesomely delivered “bad guy speech” where he will unwittingly reveal his plans and its weaknesses…doh! Did anyone notice that he is wearing the ‘Get the Gringo’ out fit? No?

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Diversity is a HUGE issue in Hollywood these days and it seems these guys know it. They went from one Black and one Chinese guy in the first Expendables, to having a briefly featured Chinese guy, an annoyingly feminist Female character, a crazy jester-like Latino character and 2 Black guys…uhm no, the one Black guy gets shot at the beginning of the movie and appears at the end of the movie…there is not enough room for 2 Black guys to actually be in movie? What do you guys make of this?

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Also the Arnie and Jet Li ‘shipping…are they an item in the movie? Just seems weird. Its like an insestual version of Arnies classic movie ‘Twins’…other than that…happiness all round.

Did you enjoy this third instalment? Let us know in the comments bellow!

  • Overall Score

Final Thoughts

Is The Expendables 3 good? …yeah, yeah it is • Is it better than The Expendables 2? That's for you to decide • Do we rate things on this site? Yes and The Expendables 3 gets

3
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